Surviving the Holidays during Eating Disorder Recovery
As the holidays approach, we can feel overwhelmed by all of the tasks and to-do's that come with them. For those in recovery from an eating disorder, however, these times of year can be especially challenging. The expectations of social gatherings, family events and holiday parties can lead to anxiety, guilt, and shame. Despite good intentions to engage and celebrate, many of us struggle through a time period that is impossible not to associate with food - from Thanksgiving turkey to New Year’s resolutions – when you are actively learning how to redefine your relationship with meals and nourishment during recovery. But it doesn’t have to be so hard! With understanding and compassion for ourselves as well as some creative strategies tailored specifically to our individual needs, there is hope for making this holiday season one full of joy rather than fear.
1. Plan ahead: The holidays are a time of celebration, warmth, togetherness and, unfortunately, triggers for those with eating disorders. It can be challenging to navigate the season while staying true to your recovery journey. That's why it's important to make a genuine and authentic effort to plan ahead. Kindly identify your triggers and consider healthy coping skills that work for you. Remember, what works for others may not work for you, so be genuine and authentic in choosing the coping strategies that resonate with you. Have conversations with your support system, so they can understand how to assist you through this time. And, most importantly, create a safety plan equipped with your favorite coping skills as a reminder to check-in whenever necessary. Remember, compassion is key, and always trust that you are strong enough to overcome any obstacles.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries: The first step to coping with the holiday season is to establish healthy boundaries. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your social gatherings. Communicate your needs with your support system and let them know how they can provide you with authentic, compassionate, and empathetic support. And, don't be afraid to say no to gatherings that might drain you instead of energize you. Remember, your recovery is your priority and it's okay to prioritize that over certain social obligations. Stay genuine to your needs and know that your support system is there for you.
3. Honor Your Values: The holiday season isn't just about food. It’s important to remember the values that are important to you during this time. Whether it’s spending quality time with loved ones, volunteering, or engaging in self-care activities, remain focused on what matters to you. This can be a vulnerable time but also a time to reflect on your “why” in recovery. Allow yourself to make recovery decisions that stay to true to who you are and the life you want for yourself. This way, you’ll feel fulfilled as you make decisions that bring you closer to your values.
4. Listen to Your Hunger Cues: During the festivities, it’s common to lose sight of our hunger cues. The best thing you can do for yourself is to listen to your body. Pay attention to your hunger signals and eat accordingly. Remember, it’s okay to indulge in your favorite holiday treats, but doing so in a way that is mindful. Allow yourself to enjoy meals, conversations, and time with your family and friends. Honor your hunger and fullness cues by honoring your recovery.
5. Use Healthy Self-Statements: During the holiday season, it’s essential to replace negative self-talk with healthy self statements. Use healthy self-statements to motivate yourself and stay on track with your recovery. For example, if you notice that harsh inner critic taking over, remind yourself: “I am worthy of love and respect,” “I choose to nourish my body with food,” or “I am in control of my recovery.” Sometimes it is hard to jump to positive statements so in those moments give yourself compassion and focus on something more neutral such as, “food is food,” or “food will not hurt me.” Practice compassion and kindness as you navigate this and practice using healthy self-statements.
6. Seek Support: The holiday season can be a challenging time, especially for those who are in recovery. It's essential to seek support from those who genuinely care about your well-being. You deserve to have authentic connections where you can express yourself and be heard. It takes courage to ask for help, but reaching out to a therapist, support group, or a trusted friend or family member can be incredibly beneficial. Don't underestimate the power of empathetic support during this time of year. Remember, you are not alone, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
7. Practice mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can be a helpful tool when coping with an eating disorder during the holidays. Take a moment to pause, breathe, and check in with how you’re feeling. Rather than reacting on impulse, be intentional about your choices. Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” and respond accordingly.
8. Shift your focus to self-care: During the holidays, it’s easy to neglect self-care. However, taking care of yourself is crucial when you are braving recovery. Make sure to practice self-care techniques like getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and taking time for yourself. Take a warm bath, read a book, or practice a creative hobby. Remember, self-care is not selfish, it’s essential.
The holidays can be a challenging time, especially for those in eating disorder recovery. It takes genuine effort to set healthy boundaries and make decisions aligned with your values. But it's important to honor your hunger and give yourself permission to take a break when needed. Coping skills that are authentic and meaningful to you can be lifelines during this time. Remember to pause, take deep breaths, and repeat if that helps you feel more centered. And most of all, be kind to yourself. Setting healthy boundaries, honoring your values, listening to your hunger cues, using healthy self-statements, seeking support, practice mindfulness, and practice self care; are all effective strategies for surviving the holidays in recovery. Remember, the holiday season is about spending time with loved ones and celebrating the things that matter to you. Stay focused on your goals and stay mindful of your recovery, and you’ll be sure to enjoy the holiday season while maintaining your progress. Give yourself the gift of compassion and reach out to a support person that understands what you're going through. Let them know how they can best support you. At the same time, make sure to embrace the holiday spirit with your loved ones. Create new traditions and reminisce about your favorite memories. Above all, give yourself permission to enjoy the holidays and savor the present moment. Cheers to a compassionate and empathetic holiday season!
You Got This!!
-Lisa Vincent, LPC
